The UK 2026: Look Mum No Computer with ‘Eins, Zwei, Drei’
This year’s British effort has been officially released with ‘Eins, Zwei, Drei’
OK, I have quite a backlog I’m jumping over to get to this one but I get a lot of UK traffic here and I’m a man of the people (and chasing clicks). You don’t jump above WiwiBloggs in web hits without taking the occasional diversion like this or maybe them deleting their site was the bigger factor, who’s to say?
Anyway, those following me on X will have already seen my initial reaction to this and the longer version isn’t very different. We’ve got a good hook, a good baseline, but no change-up. I’m not a musician, so maybe there’s something going on but verse, chorus, bridge are too similar - same beat, same structure, same lyrical deliver. The concept of repeating ‘Eins, Zwei, Drei’ is fine, and could prove a great moment and crowd pleaser in Vienna for the audience, I just wish there was a bit more variation in between to prevent this feeling so one-note. If it’s supposed to be The UK’s answer to ‘Cha Cha Cha’ then many crucial steps are missed, which is a surprise because regular Eurovision songwriters were drafted in to formulate this.
For any super high placing, or perhaps top 10 at all I do think this is a fatal issue and not something that will be saved live. This song is not missing a wow moment like a Sam Ryder guitar solo for example where the live Eurovision version has been adapted, it's a composition missing the basics, which is a real shame because a lot of the good work of the irreverence, catchiness and possible good will for The UK tying something different is undone.
Staging offers an opportunity to partially overcome this problem but we’re going to need something well thought through with good story telling and an added dynamic element to keep viewers engaged. Look Mum is a guy who’s talents clearly lean more on the creative and visual side than most and isn’t here for his vocal talents which are acceptable for what he’s trying to sell. We should be expecting something wacky, inventive and original, probably with some giant synthesiser prop but that can’t be all. Overall, one's optimism for where this ends up should be closely tied to how far ahead this has been thought through.
There are some elements for jurors to like but I do expect the repetition and unremarkable vocal to limit any love. This is generally more of a Televote song even if that’s historically the much weaker area for The UK but Look Mum could be the sort of act easy to vote for, and at least there is an identity here which is pretty important.
Overall, my current guess for both components would be a low teens position of like 18th or something. Start looking through the opposition and a top 10 looks a very hard ask whilst I don’t discount a complete Vienna 2015 repeat where this is 3rd bottom ahead of only Germany and Austria (mild spoilers for those reviews maybe…). I like the effort, and I do like the song much more than the last two British entries despite my negativity, this just looks far closer right now the fun entries that fail to take off rather than those that do. There’ll be some temptation to laud this or bash it but in the end something more middling to low is likely in my view in terms of results.
Personal Rating: 12/20
Staging Potential: 18/20
Televote Potential: 12/20
Jury Potential: 11/20
Track Record: 4/20
Overall Rating: 57/100
Early Prediction: 18th-22nd in the final.